How about some "greatest movie ever made" - The Godfather. There's a scene of Al Pacino and his Sicilian wife Apolonia (Simonetta Stefanelli) consumating their marriage, but it just ends with Simonetta Stefanelli undressing herself and exposing her tits. Disappointing, but I'm sure Coppola knew what he was doing. The Godfather: Part II doesn't have anything that even comes close and all that's in Part III is some chick's naked ass. Just fuggetaboutit.
Man On The Moon: I guess Milos Forman never was a big fan of sex scenes. Even in The People vs. Larry Flynt all you can see are some tits. You can see some tits in the Man On The Moon as well, but that's it. The legend says Andy Kaufman (of whom the said film is about) was quite familiar with the ladies of the night. It seems that's where he started his women's wrestling career. So Jim Carrey pays a visit to the whorehouse where he wrestles two naked chicks, the end. I should mention there's plenty of sexy wrestling with chicks (alas being clothed) later on. And I mean it, it's pretty hot, I wish I could get into women's wrestling... They probably changed the rules after Andy Kaufman though.
White Sands: Not much to say here, just your usual crime thriller flick, but I kinda liked it anyways. Just Willem Dafoe having a shower with Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio. I still don't know what the hell's going on, he's a happily married guy and there they are in the shower with that sexy music playing that always leads to sex, but then it cuts to the scene where she's pretending to having sex, so Willem Dafoe can take out the guys keeping surveillance on them. So they did it for real before, but now they're pretending? How come we didn't get to see the real thing? Also, they probably used a body double for Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio's nude scene, I don't know but that could have been anyone's hair... Those bastards, depriving us of celebrity nudity.
You might have heard about Wrong Turn, it was a fairly decent horror flick with one mistake: no titties. Well the sequel Wrong Turn 2: Dead End fixed that (somewhat). There's a scene of Crystal Lowe flirting around with her titties. You see, they're filming a reality show and you gotta have stuff like that in there, but I digress. Anyways, that's about it, except for an unrevealing blowjob, one of them disfigured forest mutants jerking off to Crystal Lowe relaxing down by the river and scenes of two of them hideous creatures getting it on - no nudity, but in the latter case that might actually be a good thing.
Sexy scene times:
- The Godfather - 1:46
- Man On The Moon - 0:44
- White Sands - 1:10
- Wrong Turn 2 - 0:29
